Giggleworthy

Sometimes, you go through life without anything remarkable happening. Days come and go and seem pretty much all the same. I've kind of been in that rut lately, but today was my grandmother's 84th birthday and I'll say, anytime someone reaches that age in good health, it's worth noting. After church, the remnant of a family remaining in the Pittsburgh area caravaned over to her apartment in a senior living center. It's a pretty swanky place. Four floors of posh living, full of activities from bingo to Oscar parties to shopping trips. And good heavens, the Lenten trips to local fish fries! I never see my grandmother because she's too busy living it up and catching up on the latest gossip. (Seriously, it's worse than high school.)

Anyway...back to our visit. There is, for whatever reason, one elevator in this building. I think it could easily win the record for the slowest elevator to exist. Ever. As we waited with our cake, we noticed another party happening in one of the common areas. (Like I said, these people live it up.) We received a bright greeting from the weekend receptionist, and finally, the elevator arrived. We piled on and waited another long pause before the doors closed and we at last began our ascent. (For the record, I'm not averse to taking the stairs, I'm just not sure where they are in this building.) We got to my grandmother's apartment and stepped inside to chat for a bit. While we were standing there, listening to my grandma talk about skipping breakfast to avoid some of the menfolk serenading her with "Happy Birthday", a card suddenly appeared under her door. Retrieving it, we continued in conversation, only to notice another card being jammed under her door. Keep in mind her neighbors are at a similar stage in life and while my grandmother is still quite spry, not all of her neighbors are. Watching this card get stuck halfway under her door, I'm picturing one of her hapless neighbors stuck trying to get this thing into her apartment. A "fallin-and-can't-get-up" type of scenario. With this in mind, I mention that there appears to be another card attempting to be delivered and my grandmother answers the door. One of her neighbors slowly straightens to deliver the card and share some news:

Neighbor: "Oh, I just wanted to drop off this card for your birthday...You know, there's another party happening downstairs? Yes...They're having a party for (insert name here.) He's 93...Yeah. And they just had the ambulance come and take someone away."

Pause.

I should add here that it has come to our attention in recent weeks that my grandmother's hearing is not what it once was. Upon hearing her neighbor's news, she nodded and said, "Oh, how nice." As anyone who has just shared news that an ambulance took someone away would react, the look on her neighbor's face showed shock. My grandmother simply nodded, thanked her for the card, and closed the door. 

I'll be honest. I wasn't really paying attention to the conversation at the door. But I heard "ambulance" and looked at my mom, who at this point had lost it. Struggling to keep a straight face, she finally gave up and evacuated to another room. I still wasn't exactly sure who left in an ambulance, but by this time my grandmother had closed the door on her neighbor and was opening her newest birthday card.

Moving right along. We left shortly after delivering the cake. Back to the world's slowest elevator. It finally arrived and we headed down, this time joined by my grandmother. She announced she would save the cake to share with friends over dinner. As the elevator lumbered downward, it stopped at the 2nd floor and I was reminded why it's a good thing it's the slowest elevator in the world as the newest passenger boarded. He shuffled along with his walker, but offered my grandmother a friendly "hello" and quickly nodded to all of us. My grandmother introduced the six of us guests and the gentleman nodded, then good-naturedly called us by all the wrong names. (I got "Agatha." Really, dude?) 

Exiting the elevator, someone saw my grandmother and started singing "Happy Birthday." Our new friend from the elevator, still moving slowly along, stopped and asked us whose birthday it was. We told him and he responded with: "Really? I had no idea! I need to give her a kiss."

(Process that amongst yourselves.)

At first, I thought he was joking. But I guess there comes a time in life when you just go for it. I will say, for a guy who had been moving pretty slowly, he sure spun that walker around pretty quick to make good on his promise. My dad's mock outrage behind me confirmed that the friend from the elevator followed through on the kiss.

Never in a million would have predicted that one. 

So the moral of this story is to be careful on your birthday. Especially amongst seniors. And maybe to party so hard at that age that an ambulance might have to get you--but only if you're going to be okay.